pastel-gizibe:

I will make cans of this and give this to every cop I see.

“He lit a cigarette. His glass of whiskey lit a cigarette. “I can only truly love my dead best friend,” he said, “but not in a gay way. Women wouldn’t understand. They’re too gay.” Both of the cigarettes agreed.”
- from Mallory Ortberg’s hilarious “Male Novelist Jokes.” (via coketalk)